Pallus has sworn revenge on Malfrous and has stolen his beloved knife. What can go wrong?

Everything.And.Nothing.S01E01.720p.HDTV.x264-FTP.mkv 000159679






"Oh,wow." Said Malfrous as he tapped the keyboard of 294 in the cafeteria of Site 31. "What is it now, bloody Merican?" Pallus mumbled, eating a biscuit without tea, which was British hell for him. "This machine serves tea!" Malfrous remarked. "B-B-BLOODY MARVELOUS, CHAP!" Pallus screamed, jumping from his table and pushing Malfrous aside. He looked eagerly at the screen and searched for 'Tea.'. Pallus frowned as he saw no 'Tea' on the monitor. "NOPE." Said Malfrous, running off. "OH, BLOODY HELL! I KNEW FROM THE BEGINNING IT WAS AN IMPOSTOR! GOD DAMN YOU IMPOSTORS!" Pallus screamed, smashing his fist upon the screen. Meanwhile, Bertie had 4 biscuits crammed up his mouth, seemingly choked on it based on the horrifying sounds that followed the grasping of his throat. Malfrous was recording the entire thing, laughing his head off. "I bloody hate America." Muttered Pallus.


"Bad show, Pallus!" Moaned Bertie as Pallus jumped into his room, a knife in hand. "Revenge is sweeter than Tea on a Saturday morning, my good fellow!" Juggling Malfrous' knife.


"THEY STOOOOOLE IT!" Malfrous screamed like a lunatic. "MY PRECCIOUSSSS!" Drago sat next to him on the cold floor of his office. "Who did, Malfrous?" Drago asked. "THE TEA-LOVING, BISCUIT-EATING, PEICES OF BRITISH SHIT!" Malfrous screamed, who was not use to having been seperated from his beloved knife. "What's wrong with the British? I myself was born in the UK." Drago said. "YOU'RE ON OF THEM, TOO?!" Malfrous screamed. "I'M GOING TO HAVE TO KILL YOU!" Malfrous raised his hand and pretended to clutch an imaginary-air knife and began imaginary-air stabbing Drago, which didn't seem to hurt him much. "Can you stop that?" Drago asked as Malfrous swung his hand in front of Drago's face, trying to stab him with his air-knife. Continued by Malfrous' imitations of impaling an nonexistent blade into Drago, Drago snatched a bundle of scones enfolded within a napkin out of his pocket and a cup of coffee. He began consuming the British cake until Malfrous smacked it out of his hands. "DON'T DEVOUR THEIR INFERIOR FOODS!" shouted Malfrous. "Hey! That was my breakfast!" yelled Drago. "Besides, they're just buttermilk biscuits, but just more sweeter." Before Malfrous could respond to that, a knock was heard coming from behind the door. 


"Hiya chaps! I was hearing quite a commotion going on in there! Are you all alright?" spoke Gareth from behind the door. '"OH SHIT! THEY'RE BREAKING DOWN MY DOORS!" Malfrous screamed "DRAGO, HELP ME BARRICADE THE ENTRANCE." Malfrous began pushing his desk toward the door. "Wait, can't we just have a conversation with the man without violence?" questioned Drago. ''GOOD IDEA DRAGO, WE USE VIOLENCE." replied Malfrous, hurling the desk across the room. Malfrous inserted his passcode, and then tackled Gareth. Malfrous beated the poor British man with his fists. "Oh dear, Pallus! Gareth is in trouble!" Bertie said to Pallus. "That blasted Merican is trying to murder him!" replied Pallus. The sound of Malfrous punching Gareth then stopped, followed by the sound of running footsteps toward their office. "He's coming after us, Pallus!"


Pallus locked the knife in a chest in his room and slid it under his bed. "Oh ho, good show." Pallus whispered. Bertie groaned, horrified of the consequences that wou- oh shit. Banging was heard on the door. "Bloooooody hell. He's on to us already!" Pallus screamed. The door would shake. Suddenly, you would hear rapid clicking. A gun reloading. "BAD SHOW!" Bertie screamed as terrible sounds of bullets firing through the door echoed in Site 31. Holes appeared all over their office doors. Suddenly, the door flew open. Malfrous walked out of a cloud of smoke in the middle of the doorway, gun pointed at Pallus. "I AIN'T BE HAVING IT, CHAP!" Panicked Pallus. "WHERE IS IT?!" Screamed Malfrous in his Batman voice. "WUR ISH ITH?" Pallus screamed. Bertie slid under the bed. The box slid from beneath it, and Malfrous put his boot on the locked box. "THE KEYYYY?!" Bertie unhesitatingly gave him the key. Malfrous kneeled down and unlocked the box. "TAKE IT, JUST TAKE I T, BLOODY AMERICAN!"  Screamed Bertie. Pallus kept his mouth shut, for he slid an object into his pocket... Malfrous smiled as he opened the box, only to see nothing inside it. Only dust. Malfrous sputtered. "HA!" Screamed Pallus, pulling the blade from his knife. "SUK IT, MERICAN!" Screamed Pallus as he ran off.  



No being had ever ran so fast. Malfrous sped toward Pallus down the never-ending corridor like a cheetah on drugs. Pallus looked behind him and shrieked as Malfrous lunged at him. Malfrous tackled Pallus to the floor and grabbed his collar. Malfrous lifted him up, and then rammed his fist into Pallus's chin upwards. Malfrous let go, allowing Pallus to go flying. Pallus dropped the knife and laid on the floor, dazed. Malfrous moseyed up to his knife, bent down, only to get dropkicked in the back by an angry Pallus. Malfrous was sent flying across the hallway. Pallus leaned over and grabbed the knife and smirked. Malfrous snarled and got to his feet, charging at Pallus like an angry bull. Once they made impact, Pallus screamed like a school girl. Malfrous pinned him to the floor with his knee and began sending multiple punches at his chest, like a punching bag. Pallus constantly let out grunts of pain. Pallus' head slumped to the floor, blood leaking from his nose. His eyes closed slowly as Malfrous picked up his knife, slid it into his pocket, and walked off. "Bloooody.....Merican..." Muttered Pallus as his vision went black.


Pallus found himself in a medical bed . He looked to his left, to see Doctor Bush stood next to him. "Okey dokey, another 'Malfrous' accident I see..." He said, writing on a clipboard. "Ugh..." Grunted Pallus as he looked to his right. Bertie sat there, a tray of biscuits in hand. Pallus jumped up and grabbed three and began to shove them up his mouth. Suddenly, Pallus tried to swallow without chewing. Pallus made terrible sounds, then grasped his throat as his face went pink. And in the doorway of the room was a Dr. Malfrous, recording it all.

END Edit